I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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