Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
