I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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