I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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