I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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