I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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