I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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