Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
