Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
and you fell through a lawn chair
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
