you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
