she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
