I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
