Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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