last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
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