Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
