no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I'm too high and old for this...
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
