come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
