so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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