what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line