I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
