I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
