forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
