i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Bring me that man meat
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Randomize
