Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
