plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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