I'd wear matching sweaters with you
just tell him i said nine months
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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