i think my tv is drunk
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Drake has all the answers
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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