i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
