I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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