Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
