About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
