Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
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is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
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My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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