This girl is more easily done than said...
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
