i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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