Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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