The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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