great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize
