Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
There r osticjed everywhere
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
