had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
