I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
She needs sedatives and a leash
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I am naked and annoyed.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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