I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
