do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
