you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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