Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
