im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
