we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
