The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I deserve to be covered in dicks
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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