Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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