could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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