I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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