I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
