Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..