I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
try lime green
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins