dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night