so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
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