I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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