By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
