what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
