Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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